Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

[Mahnoor.90]

Doston, Bahut arse pehle ek sher likha tha aaj usi sher ko ghazal ki shakl dene ki koshish ki hai...aap sab apni ray se zaroor nawaziyega aur ismail sahab aur *resham* se meri darkhwast hai ki ise kaise durust kiya jaaye zaroor bataiyega..intizaar rahega!!Shukriya!

Chehre ko naqaab meiN chupaaye kaun baitha hai?
HaathoN ko duaooN meiN uthaaye kaun baitha hai?

Is sang duniya meiN Khuda ki paak baargaaH meiN
Apni gardan ko jhukaaye kaun baitha hai?

kaun hamdard hai jo mere jeene ki duaayeiN karta hai
jaane ashq aankhooN meiN samaaye kaun baitha hai?

Aaj tak jo bhi mila jaane kyoN nazreiN chura leta tha
aaj hamari nazroN se nazreiN milaaye kaun baitha hai?

muddat huyi jab kisi ne palatkar haal-e-dil poocha ho
aaj haq meiN Sadia ke,mehfil saajaye kaun baitha hai?

Fakat khaaksaar,
Sadia Mahnoor Baloch

[samii]

bhot khub
sb kuch itna bhi khul ka na batao!!
gud i like it

[*resham*]

اچھا لکھا ہے آپ نے
سیس
لکھتے رہیے
اللہ مزید اس فن میں اضافہ عطا کریں
امین

[Ismail Ajaz]

Doston, Bahut arse pehle ek sher likha tha aaj usi sher ko ghazal ki shakl dene ki koshish ki hai...aap sab apni ray se zaroor nawaziyega aur ismail sahab aur *resham* se meri darkhwast hai ki ise kaise durust kiya jaaye zaroor bataiyega..intizaar rahega!!Shukriya!


Fakat khaaksaar,
Sadia Mahnoor Baloch

maashaa Allah
ek achhee koshish hai
daad aap ke liye

[мιѕнααℓ]

MASHALLAh.. keep it up !!

[yawar azeem]

sadia mahnoor baloch ap ki kavish achi ha aur mujhey ye bat jan kar behad acha laga k ap shairy ko ba hesiat fun seekhna aur samajhna chahati hen... ap k khayalat komal hen , aur lafz men jazbey ki aanch bhi ha... lakin agar zara kami ha to "ghinaiyat" ki yani wazn jo sher ka bunyadi wasf ha.... ap ki lagan ko dekh kar men ne ap k ashaar ko "mozoo'n" yani wazn men kar diya ha... koshish ki ha k ap ka khayal wohi rahey... bahar haal jahan zarori tha wahan zara sa farq bhi ha.... khair andaish.... yawar azeem...

ghazal...

hasee'n chehra naqabon men chupaye kon betha ha?
do hathon ko duaao'n men uthaye kon betha ha?

zara dekho k ab is sang dil dunya men subh o sham
khuda k aasta'n pe sar jhukaye kon betha ha?

mere jiney ki khatir ab duaain kon karta ha?
ye mere wasitey aanso bahaye kon betha ha?

nazar mujh se chura lene ki aadat ha zamaney ko
magar dekho nazar mujh se milaye kon betha ha?

men apni zaat ki tanhaaiyo'n men saadia khush hon
meri khatir yaha'n mehfil sajaye kon betha ha?

(Sadia Mahnoor Baloch)

[yawar azeem]

n se pehley jahan ' comma ha wahan noon ghunna parha jaye ga..
hasee'n.....aasta'n...

[BINT E ADAM]

bohat zbardast kawish hai mahnoor ap ki.
or yawaar sir ap ne iss ko wazn dy kr bohat umda shairi hamay samny paish ki hai .

[yawar azeem]

shukria bint aadam.

[Mahnoor.90]

bht shukriya