-=Issi Mod Pe=-

[ArAbIaN gIrL]

~`Isi Mod pe`~

jab tum pe had se zaiyada yakeen ker liya
jab tumhare liye jeena shuru ker diya
her ik pal tumhe socha
her dhadkan mein tumhi sama gaye the
her sapna tumhare liye dekha
jab kisi ki parwa na ki
apni her dua mein tumhe maanga
teri aarzo
teri justajo
teri tamanah ki
haan isi mod pe
isi mod pe
tumne bewafai ki

[dreamer]

boht achi nazm hay,,or mashaAllah boht nikhaar aata jaraha tumhari poetry main,,aik mamooli si islaah krna chahon ga,,or ye sirf tumhari hosla afzaae kay liye hay,,is say tumhari nazm ki achaae pr koi asar nahi parta
teri aarzo
teri justajo
teri tamanah ki
in teen misron main ``teri`` ki jaga ``tumhaari`` hona chahiye tha,,kyon kay nazm ki ibtada say ``tumhi``tumhare`` istamaal hoaiy hain,,to ab takallum ``teri nahi hosakta,, aik wqt main aap aik mukhatib ko tumhare or tere nahi kah saktay... urdu ka usool hay kay too say tere ...or tum say tumharay...
umeed tum isay sirf islaahi or tameeri tanqeed samjho gi,,,main isi tarha dosron ki tanqeed hi say seekhta hon.agar kuch bura lagay to zuroor batana,,takay aainda mujh say kisi ki dil aazaari ya hosla shikni na ho.. boht saari daad

[ArAbIaN gIrL]

boht achi nazm hay,,or mashaAllah boht nikhaar aata jaraha tumhari poetry main,,aik mamooli si islaah krna chahon ga,,or ye sirf tumhari hosla afzaae kay liye hay,,is say tumhari nazm ki achaae pr koi asar nahi parta
teri aarzo
teri justajo
teri tamanah ki
in teen misron main ``teri`` ki jaga ``tumhaari`` hona chahiye tha,,kyon kay nazm ki ibtada say ``tumhi``tumhare`` istamaal hoaiy hain,,to ab takallum ``teri nahi hosakta,, aik wqt main aap aik mukhatib ko tumhare or tere nahi kah saktay... urdu ka usool hay kay too say tere ...or tum say tumharay...
umeed tum isay sirf islaahi or tameeri tanqeed samjho gi,,,main isi tarha dosron ki tanqeed hi say seekhta hon.agar kuch bura lagay to zuroor batana,,takay aainda mujh say kisi ki dil aazaari ya hosla shikni na ho.. boht saari daad

ahaan thankx
arey nahi aisi koi b baat nahi hai k mein naraz hun gi ya mujhe bura lage ga mujhe khushi hoi hia k apne mujhe bataya hai itne chote chote points the aur mujhe samjh nahi aye ab aainda khayaal rakhun gi aur nxt mein b ghaltiyan zaroor bataye ga

[withlove]

bohat khoob.. mukhtasar magar pur'asar.. achi nazm kahi.. likhti rahiye.. aur bhi nikhaar aaye ga.. daad qabool kijiye.. aur Zubair sahib ne.. "shotter gharba" ki janib jo ishara kiya.. wo durust hai .. magar ye koi aisa bara fault nahi .. wazn poora kernay ke liye.. Ghalib.. meer jaisay shoara bhi ye ghalti kertay rahen hein.. haan magar iss se misray ki khoobsoorti per farq zaroor parta hai.. misray mein maanwiyat ke saath saath sheriyat bhi honi chahiye.. aap filhaal rawani per bharpoor tawaju dein.. jab rawani aa jaye gi to wazn samjhny mein bohat asani rahy gi.. Zubair aur Zain sahib se islaah leti rahiye ga.. Bohat Nawazish..

kher'andesh

[ArAbIaN gIrL]

ji zaroor ab dehaan rakhun gi aur INSHALLAH likhte likhte i guess behtari ati jaye gi

[~*~Mehar~*~]

Ussi mor per tum nay Bewaayi ki ...

Zbrdst

Bht acha likha hai ...or app ko islah b mil gayi

bas asy hi likhti raho inshaAllah or b zada acha likho gi

[Bheegi-Palkain]

Assalam-o_Alikum WR WB

MAshalah bhot achi kosish hay ....

khayal pasnd aya hay mujhy

FeamNAllah

[naz]

Bhot acha likha hai AG leken wahe gurbar hue hai..aik dum se sequence toat gaye teri ki waja se wo change karlo baki sahe hia sub

[SiLenT ScReaM]

Bohat Bohat khoob.. bohat dil se likha hay

[ArAbIaN gIrL]

ap sab ka bohat shukriya