Assalam o alaikum

mujhe ye dare Ashi ne dis tha k 20 members pe jokes post karo ye mera dare hazir hai...


01:

Killeroctor se mere danton main dard rehta hay or ab to danto main kerah bhi lag gya hay.bataye doctor sahib main kya karon?

Doctor….aap aik mahn tak ras or chay lein is ke alawa kuch na khayein .

Aik mahn tak marez rozana sirf or sirf chaye or ras par guzara karta raha magar aik din
ras khatam ho gye jis par Killer ne socha ke chalo aj main sirf chaye pee leta hun.
aaj guzara ho hi jaye ga.kal ras le aaon ga magar kere ko acha na laga,
foran bahir nikal kar kehne laga

Uncle aj ras nahi hay kya?



02:

Ustaad……….roshni ko jumle main istamal karo.
Arham………kamre main Andhra hay.
Ustaad………nalik is jumle main roshni kahan hay?
Arham ……..janab light gai hoi hay.



03:

Ustaad ……. Dastakari kese kehte hain?
Rano …….jo zordar darwaze par dastak de ise dastakari kehte hain.




04:

Rabi…..aba jan mere liye bazaar se sab se acha phal lete ana .
BaaP …..sab se acha phal sabar hay”lehaza tum sabar karo.



05:

Aik din ustaad ne class main kaha ke kal har larka angrezi main baat kare ga.
dosre din Sani der se aya,ustaad ne der se ane ki waja pochi
Shani bola”oo my master.
raste main gode gode water,
rain is hoing.
mai paon pehsalte I am garam .
isi liye today I am late.


06:

Doctor ……Igni se kaha jao jaldi se doctor ko le aao meri tabyat kharab hay.
IGni ne jawab diya….aap to kudh doctor hain aap apna alaj kune nahi karte.
Doctor ne jaldi se jawab diya ……bewaqoof meri fees bohot zyada hay.



07:

Bean mian se kisi ne sawal kiya beta tumhein kon se parende pasand hain.
Bean ne bari mtanat se jawab diya ,jee who bhone hoye tetar bater.




08:

Irfan mian rote hoye maan ke pas aaye maan ne pocha ke beta kune ro rehy ho?
Irfan ne rote hoye kaha.dekhye na ammi,abu darwaze main keel thok rehy the ke hathori un
ke hath se chot kar pain main aa lagi.
Maan ne kaha.aare bhai is main rone ki kya baat hay ,esi baaton par to hans diya karte
hain.Irfan ne muh basorte hoye kaha ke main hansa hi to tha.



09:

Interviewerhat is skeleton?
Aquarian:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..



10:

Sajid Worthless se “jaldi se ja kar koi khali raksha le aao.”
Worthless “wapis aa kar koi khali raksha milta hi nahi,har aik main aik admi zaror betha
hota hay”.



11:

school main Sanorita ne Sky Angel se poucha. “farz karo ……aik bohot barha darya hay……..
darya ke aik kinare par hari hari ka khada parha hay dosre kinare par aik gadha khara hay.
darya bohot gehra hay,gadha teher kar dosri taraf nahi ja sakta hay.wahan koi kashti bi
nahi hay,batao gadha kis tarhan ghass tak pohnchy ga.Sky Angel ne kafi dair socha or a
khir har man li.gadhe ne bi yehi kaha tha Sanorita itmenan se boli.



pehli parosan Naz, “beti aaj kya paka rehi ho? ”
dosri parosan Hijab “daal”
pehli parosan Naz “lakin khusboo to morgi pakne ki aa rehi hay?”
dosri parosan Hijaab “jee han,pak to morgi hi rehi hay lakin aap hi to kahti hain ghar ki
morgi daal barabar.”



12:

Sheem “ammi aap mujhe time nahi detien”.
Ammi “beta tumhein time chahye to puri ghari le lo,lakin roo mat”



13:

ustaad “tum itni dair se kune aye?”
Zuhair “janab mere upar se aik gari guzar gai thi”. ustaad “arye tum zinda kese bache”
Zuhair “janab main pull ke niche tha”.



14:

Faizy maan se, “ammi main yeh doa nahi Pion ga”
maan “kune” beta
Faizy “kune ke is par lekha hoa hay ke tamam doaein bachon ki pohan se door rakhein”



15:

judge Alone Stranger se “tum ne aik raat main 5 gharon main chorian kar dalien?”
Alone stranger “bachpan se hi mehnti hun”



16:

Dhanak Shaista Rao se, “hatam tai pehle das logon ko khana kehlata hay,bad main khud khata hay.”
Shaista Rao,”is main kyta barhi baat hay,mere abu to pehly 20 logon ko khana kehlate hain,
bad main khud khate hain”
Dhanak, “woh kya karte hain”
Shaista Rao, “woh aik hotel main vetor hain”.



17:

doctor ne Mr.10 se kaha ke tum ne jo cheque diya tha who cash hone ki bejaye wapis aagya
hay.
Mr.10 ne jawab diya, “mera sar dard or bokhar bi to wapis aa gya hay na doctor sahib”.



18:

ustaani ne Sadaf se ghar ke kam ki copy mangi or le ka rise dekhana shuru kiya, ustaani
herani se kehni lagi,itni sari galtian tum akeli ne kese kar lein,
Sadaf ne masomiat se kaha,bhai jaan neb hi mera sath diya tha.


19:

R.M.Dixit,mujhe koi esa kapra dekhao jo mazboot ho,paydar ho or sasta bi ho,
dokandar,nokar se inhein tat ka than dekha do.



20:

Pathar Dil ne daftar telephone kar ke apne officer ko bataya, “sir main aik hafte tak
office nahi aa sakon ga.pechli shaam meri bewi tang tor bethi hay,
officer guse se is se aap hafte bhar tak daftar kune nahi aa sakte,
to Pathar Dil ne jawab diya,aap samjhe nahi sir is ne jo tang ori hay woh meri hi to hay.







Allah Hafiz